Can you believe this?

So I know this mom who is super strong. She’s pretty, outdoorsy, smart, funny and she only wears performance gear. She’s got the proper clothes & shoes for every weather condition. So do her kids. She is just so cool. I mean, she looks like she’s heading out for hardcore hiking after preschool drop off each morning, but she’s not, she’s just going to Stop & Shop.

Anyhow, she asked me out for a play date & I was excited. She suggested we take the kids (all four of them) into the woods for some hiking and log stacking. I had no idea what she was talking about, but hey, why not?

So I met her in the woods yesterday and that’s when things got interesting. She had on some sort of super duper outfit. I was wearing jeans & boots. I had on knit gloves and a hat with a pom pom on top. She looked like she was ready for anything. Her kids did too. I suddenly felt like I wasn’t ready for this. Anyhow, she had a map and a plan and was ready for our adventure play date. All I was hoping to do was just walk on the trails and chit chat. Nope, that didn’t happen.

First she told us to walk up a steep hill. Ok, fine. Then she saw vines hanging from a tree “how fun!” She started swinging. The kids got excited and they wanted to swing too, so they all did. It was fun to watch and then she said to me “Now it’s your turn, swing as hard as you can.” I felt so much pressure to perform. I did an ok job at it.

Next up were the logs. She told the kids to move the logs from the pile they were in to a brand new pile they’d build. In 6 minutes. She clocked it on her iPhone. When the time was up, the alarm sounded. She set it to the sound of a barking dog. She did it over and over again and hearing the dog’s nasty bark started to make me feel a little nervous. The barking alarm sounds like a mean guard dog. The kids stacked and re-stacked until they were able to complete their task before the alarm sounded.

Then she began timing everything. “Let’s get this done before the dog barks!” Things like getting down a hill, walking around a lake, and collecting rocks.

I felt like I was losing my mind. Then she stopped and just let the kids sit in a cave like area for a few minutes while we talked. She explained to me that her iPhone alarm saves her every day. The kids are told to get dressed before the iPhone dog barks; they need to be in their car seats before the iPhone dog starts barking. She told me to give it a try on Monday morning. Maybe I will, but I seem to like the iPhone duck sound a little bit better. I wonder if that would have the same impact though.

Posted by BadPlaydate in Family, Fatherhood, humor, Motherhood, parenting Tags: alwarm, babies, bad playdates, dogs, family, fatherhood, gossip, hiking, hiking play date, humor, iphone, judgemental, kids, mom, motherhood, nannies, NYC, outdoorsy mom, parenting, performance gear, playdate, playdate ideas, preschool drop off, SAHM, setting alarm to get kids to do something, single mom, stay at home dads, stay at home parents, suburbs, tasks, toddlers, working mom