Can you believe this?
So I want to talk about what happened this past weekend. I went to my kid’s Saturday morning sports class and it’s always great, the kids love the class & the parents are fun to talk with. There is one dad there who is odd though, he says weird stuff each week. I try to keep my distance, but he always comes over and says inappropriate things. Here are a few examples of what he’s said over the past few months and then I’ll get to what happened on Saturday.
A bunch of parents were standing around chatting and a mom looked at another mom’s breasts and said “Wow, your breasts are huge.” The mom with the giant breasts was a nursing mom. She was also a dentist, but that doesn’t really matter. Anyhow, it was awkward and we laughed together until the inappropriate guy added this “They really are enormous”.
Silence.
Then there was the time he told me in great detail about the diarrhea he had all week.
Then the time he told me all his wife does is tweeze her eyebrows. That she’s sort of obsessed and can be found in her room each night in front of her vanity mirror. He told me all about the mirror and how it’s changes colors so she can see what her brows look like in “dim” light, “outdoor” light and “party” light.
I knew there was something wrong with him, but this past Saturday he really confused me.
“Hey, I’m going to be growing a big garden this upcoming season and plan on planting lots of veggies”. Yes, he said veggies. “Do you like green beans? I’m going to grow hundreds of green beans and give you as many as you want all season”.
Look, I’ve had it with this guy. What is he talking about? This green bean conversation felt dirty.
Then he changed the subject to this:
He told me he’s in search of a Ground Round type restaurant, an old fashioned place where there are peanuts all over the floor. He said we should have a couple’s night out at a Ground Round. I told him I’m allergic to nuts.
Class ended about 5 minutes after that. What can I do to get this guy to stop telling me his stories?
My Half Assed Life
I work with a guy who is a swinger. He also likes to talk – a lot. About stuff nobody except for him wants to talk about. I’ve discovered if I start talking about my dog he gets bored and disappears.
BadPlaydate
I’ve tried to talk about things like lawn care, but he doesn’t leave! Thanks for the tip!
BadPlaydate
Also, if he’s a swinger why tell me about your diarrhea? Gross!
frynnsk
I had a similar experience with the husband of a friend. He phoned me several times and then started asking me about my son. (CREEPY) I asked his wife to get him to stop phoning me and she accused me of having an affair with him. I just refused to associate with either one of them any more. That’s probably what you’re going to have to do with this guy. Just walk away when he starts talking to you. Don’t say anything just walk away.
jennsomethingclever
Sneeze in his face.
BadPlaydate
Good tip! Will try it.
The Dancing Egg
Sneeze in his face! That’s great. I will remember that.
I have to say, besides the breast comment, which is typical guy stupidity, I thought the green bean thing was kind of cute.
All right, I guess the eyebrow thing was too much information. But it was a very funny description, like, perfect, like, I want to steal it as a character detail if and when I write a novel.
BadPlaydate
Love you, Dancing Egg. I will have him send some green beans over to your place.
The Dancing Egg
Mmmmm. And with them, I will make some delicious jarred Dilly Beans!
Katie
Maybe eat something really garlicky before you talk to him.
mugschatz
This guy sounds like he’s “On The Spectrum,” i.e., stumbling through life with some level of Asperger’s Syndrome. No filter, no social radar, no sense of what’s appropriate for casual conversation. Does he tend to clamp onto a subject and not want to let it go? You could try to meet him at his own level and just tell him bluntly, “That’s not really appropriate here,” or “I don’t want to talk about that; tell me about how you’re going to get your kid to help eat all those vegetables you’re growing.” Yeah, good luck with that.
I just found your blog while perusing the Circle of Moms contenders, and now I’m hooked. If only I could bill for the time I spend reading…
BadPlaydate
I’ll try it on Saturday & will report back. Thanks for your comment! Glad you’re enjoying the blog. I appreciate it.