I went on a playdate and there was a giant dog in the playroom. I love dogs, so it wasn’t a problem for us, but it was definitely a problem for all of the toys. Every single toy was missing a body part. All of the Barbies were either missing a foot or a hand, the Ninja Turtles were missing arms and legs. All chewed off. A giant section of a Batman house was chewed. Batman was missing his head. The Monster trucks were missing wheels. All eaten away.
The kids were playing nicely, but the mom was yelling at the kids to put the toys away after taking them out. She was micro managing everything and all the kids were on edge. Her son was reprimanded for bending a bendable Race Track. As the mom was correcting all the kids, the dog was chewing on an American Girl doll. When I pointed that out to the mom, she rolled her eyes “Oh Mingus likes toys, thank goodness she doesn’t like to chew on my shoes.
I was on a playdate and the topic of hairdressers came up. I need a new one, so my playdate recommended her friend. I had my appointment yesterday, and it was a complete nightmare.
The cut was fine, but when I went to pay, my hairdresser said she has a “Pay What You Wish” policy and is hoping to make more money that way. How awkward! I started thinking back to what I had paid for a haircut at other salons and thought I’d match that. Was I supposed to hand her the cash and say the tip was included or pay and then give a tip? My mind was racing and I was becoming a nervous wreck, sweating and not sure how to handle this. I asked her for some guidance. She smirked and said “Nope, it’s entirely up to you.” I begged her to give me a price. She refused.
Now the pressure was really on. I handed her what I had paid in the past at other salons and she said “You sure you’re good with this?” Oh man, I guess she wasn’t ok with it, but what could I do now? I gave her a bit more cash as a tip and got the heck out of there.
I will never go back and I’m pretty upset that the mom I had my playdate with hadn’t warned me about this.
Today’s guest post is courtesy of Mommy Rotten, a Canadian Mom blogger of two boys. She’s hilarious and foul mouthed and I hope you will enjoy her post. It’s nuts!
My Kid Was Kicked Out of a Sleepover Too Early
My 12 year old son Frick is friends with this pretty nice kid who has totally weird parents. One time I ran out to the store for a few minutes, leaving my front door unlocked. When I came home this kid and his Dad were waiting for me…inside my house! They just let themselves in!
So last weekend my son sleeps over at this kid’s house. The last thing my husband told him was to be home by noon.
At 8:30 am the phone started ringing. I tried to ignore the first three calls but then I got worried that something was wrong. I found messages from Frick, very upset, begging us to please unlock the door. The last one was from our neighbor who found Frick sleeping on our front porch with no coat. Because my son, like many kids, is a fool who refuses to wear a coat in November.
According to Frick, after the boys pulled an all-nighter the parents woke up at 7 am sharp, fed the boys breakfast and promptly booted a coatless Frick out of their house into the cold November morning. The only reason any of this happened was because we weren’t expecting him back until noon!
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I had a playdate with a dad, our kids play together regularly at the park. When I knocked on the door, the dad yelled out to come on in. The kids started to play, but the dad was in another room. He called out “come here and say hello.” When I walked in, he was on his bike, which was attached to some sort of spin machine. He was dressed like Lance Armstrong wearing tight cycling clothes and a cap. I thought that was odd, I mean, why the cap? He was sweating profusely and said he had 15 minutes left on the bike. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself, so I stood in the doorway trying to make conversation.
After a few minutes I became uncomfortable and excused myself. I sat in the other room alone and waited. He finished up and came in to talk with me. He was stretching, panting and drinking water from a small backpack with a tube that reached around to his mouth. This was all ridiculous and I couldn’t wait to leave. He asked if I wouldn’t mind watching the kids while he showered real quick. Dude, are you for real? I said we should get together another day and told my son we were leaving. My kid was pissed off at me, but come on!
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I didn’t want kids at my wedding. I just didn’t. We addressed the envelopes to Mr. & Mrs. and not to the family. I even had “Adult Only Reception” printed on the invitations. Guess what happened? I got calls “Can I bring my kids?” I got emails “Well MY kids are welcome, right?” and people even showed up with their children. Yep, they did. Whatever, it was a great day, but I couldn’t believe the nerve of some guests!
Let’s fast forward. I’ve got two kids now and I’ve been planning their birthday parties and it’s stressful. I usually have the parties out at a place and I have to pay per head. I send the invitations out to my kid’s friends. Well, guess who shows up at the party? The friend, along with all of his brothers and sisters. Yep, he arrives with his siblings. Children that my kid doesn’t even know. So here’s my question: How do you handle that?
Some are now putting “Siblings Are Not Welcome” on the invitations. WEIRD! But for my wedding, I printed “Adult Only Reception” so maybe we need to print “Friends Of Birthday Child Only.” I don’t know!
Sometimes, the host will make the parents pay for the siblings. Um, can you say awkward?
Also, the host will sometimes tell siblings to sit outside of the party room and wait until it’s over. Double awkward!
So here’s the question: if you don’t put “Siblings Are Not Welcome” on the invitation, are you asking for it? Are you responsible? Do you suck it up and pay? I paid for all those kids who crashed my wedding. What if you do put “Siblings Are Not Welcome” on the invite, are you a witch? I’ve had friends who have had to put out hundreds of dollars extra to cover siblings. What do you think? Am I just a Grinch?
I was on a playdate with a mom who was on two crazy diets. The Art Diet and the Other Hand Diet. I’m not sure what the hell was going on. We were sitting at the table while our kids played with Legos in the other room. The mom started to draw an ice cream sundae. She said drawing fatty foods improves her mood and keeps her from overeating. Ok, fine, whatever.
While she was drawing the cherry on top of the ice cream with her right hand, she was eating soup with her left hand. She explained that using her nondominant hand to eat makes her more mindful. From what I was witnessing, it can also make quite a mess.
The pressure was on when she asked me if I liked pizza. Yep. Then she asked me to draw it and I did. With my left hand. I’m a righty. The drawing was terrible. I told her I was testing out a new diet. She said she wouldn’t be surprised if I wanted pizza for lunch. Everything was awkward after that.
HEY BAD PLAYDATE! CAN I LET MY 8 YEAR OLD WATCH MY 3 YEAR OLD?
Mark here from Dadsaster, and I wondered if you could give me a bit of perspective on something?
As you know, I’m the proud Stay-At-Home-Dad to a nearly-8 lad, and a 3-year-old girl. I’d say both are pretty normal developmentally – they play together well, even when unsupervised. Recently my wife and I wanted some time alone and we jetted off for a wonderful two week vacation in Hawaii, and left the kids here on their own…JUST KIDDING! But, when do you think we’ll know if the boy is old enough to babysit his sister for a couple of hours? Is there a test we can carry out? Hidden cameras? These babysitting fees are killing us.
You will totally get arrested if you let your 8 year old son watch your daughter right now and I’m not sure how you’d like prison. Probably not so much. I hear they don’t serve scones in the slammer. Look, I know babysitting rates are high, but you’ve got to suck it up for a few more years. You will know when he’s ready. It’s a few years off. In the meantime, how about this: A childcare swap! Leave your kids with friends and their kids so you and your wife can go out on the town for a few hours and then switch off the following weekend. The kids get a playdate out of it and you and your friends won’t have to pay a sitter. It’s a win win.
Or you could tap into your kids’ piggy banks to pay the sitter. I mean, it’s totally their fault that you’re in this predicament, right? They owe you guys. Oh come on, just kidding.
For help with your bad playdates, send a question to firstname.lastname@example.org or Bad Playdate on Facebook. You can also address your queries on Twitter to @badplaydate and be sure to follow me!
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After running this blog for more than a year, I’d like to think I’m a playdate expert. But I’m tired of always complaining and poking fun at my fellow playdaters, so now, it’s time to turn this beat around and try to help out a bit while still complaining! I want to use my expertise for the greater good. I’ll now be offering advice on all things playdate, from how to plan a great playdate, to how to rescue a disastrous one, and everything in between! We’re all in this together — I want to do my part to help. You’ll see some other changes coming too — in addition to the blog and advice columns, there will be videos, and podcasts. All in the name of making playdates better for everyone! The support you have given me for the past year has been amazing, and I want to connect even more with you guys, so I hope to be a little more open with everyone. I hope you’ll let me in. Thanks! E-mail me with questions and stories about your bad playdates — email@example.com
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I was at a cheese shop and a mom was there with her tween daughter. She kept yelling at her daughter to stop trying to taste a particular cheese because it was labeled as having a Nutty flavor. “You’re allergic to nuts, don’t eat that!” she said. The kid was trying desperately to explain to her mom “Nutty flavor doesn’t mean that it has nuts in it.” She kept telling her mom that it was cheese without nuts. She even asked the cheesemonger, and he backed her up. The mom yelled at the cheesemonger “Are you going to take her to the ER when she gets hives?” The cheese monger walked away. The girl said she was going to try it, just to prove to her mother that she would be fine after eating the cheese. The mom wasn’t having it and pulled her out of the store by the arm.
Another kid in the store then asked his mom if he could try the cheese. The mom said samples are dirty and to wait until they got home. My child, with a mouth full of cheese asked “Mom, is nutty cheese dirty?”
*This one is for O.
Forget the Mommy and Me groups, I want to join a Mommy and the Real Me group. I am sick of parents acting horrified when kids act like kids. Especially boys who want to run, jump and climb. I refuse to yell at my kids for running a “little too fast.” I am done.
I had a playdate with a nervous Nelly mom. The kids were doing flips in the yard and this is what I had to hear, over and over again “Oh be careful, don’t do that, you might kick little Johnny in the face!” WHAT? So what? Johnny might get kicked in the face! It happens. He might learn to get out of the way.
Then my kid found a bug and said it was dead “Oh, don’t say that, don’t say it’s dead.” Wait, what are you talking about, lady! That bug was dead; maybe you need to have a talk with your four year old about dead bugs.
Later that day she emailed me. The subject: DEATH. Lovely. She went on and on about how she hasn’t talked with her kid about death yet and now he was asking questions because my child pointed out the dead bug.
How dare my child make an observation, right? How should I respond?